Why friends won’t watch your favorite movies

Check out this great song by
Phil Collins.


Saint Paul, MN


I really do like Phil Collins as a solo artist.

(Bring on the hate.)

Yes, his music might sound a bit dated. And yes, he’s the butt of the music world. But I grew up with it and I dig it.

Here’s a great Phil Collins mix on YouTube that I return to now and again. I know it’s a bit cheesy and that’s half the fun.

If you love some nostalgia I suggest you check it out!

Anyway, most people are wary of being “sold” something.

“Sold,” of course, doesn’t have to cost money.

Every time we suggest an idea to someone, we’re trying to persuade them on that idea, to sell them on the benefits it will bring them.

Just by presenting the very possibility that you have an idea or a product that might benefit someone,

people are going to resist your suggestion!

Everyone wants to be self-reliant. Any suggestion you give goes directly against this natural instinct.

As an example… think about the last time someone recommended a movie to you… or just today when some fool recommended an artist to check out on YouTube.

Check out this band. They’re great! I think you’ll love it!

Imagine getting that message from someone you know well (better than you know me even).

Did you jump out of your chair at the opportunity… given by your trusted friend?

Do your friends ever report back about your own highly-rated movie recommendations?

(I mean— we all know you have great tastes!)

Now, if we can’t persuade a friend to check out something that might be tailor-fit for their interests…

how are we going to persuade anyone to do anything?

This is the ongoing saga that I’m working with you to best understand.

One way to present an idea is with storytelling. We’ve explored this a bit in the past. To recap:

A story allows people to live through the experiences of another person, their highs and lows, their struggles and the outcomes. It emotionally bonds the listener to both the story’s hero and to the storyteller.

Another way is to know peoples’ values well enough to identify the reasons they might say no, and to address them head-on. Your prospect already knows those objections. If you ignore them, you’re

shooting yourself in the foot!

You might even want to ask, “What would change your mind?” about a specific topic.

Taking a wider view of the situation, expanding the frame to find points of common understanding, is another way to get people to see that you have common goals in mind.

We might not agree how to do it, but we agree that we all want to ____

There are more ideas, of course. I can’t cover them all today.

I’ll continue to write about persuasion and influence if you keep on reading. I’m glad you’re along for the ride.


PS. While streaming on YouTube might be nice, nothing speaks to a love of Phil’s greatest hits like owning them on vinyl: