Stephen R. Moore sat patiently across from me while I fidgeted with my mobile phone. I didn’t know how my first podcast was going to turn out. I was trying to keep my nerves under control, play it cool, and not waste his time.
Stephen is a leadership and sales coach, helping corporate clients in the car industry get better customer satisfaction and results. His cooperative, Leadership3P, pulls in over $600,000 every year.
His time is valuable, to say the least.
We were already off to a rough start. My plan to
meet in a quiet library didn’t work out due to a national holiday (A sincere thank you to all of our nation’s military veterans for your service).
I hadn’t made a backup plan. In my scramble to find a new location, I chose what must have been the loudest coffee shop in miles.
I first met Stephen in the Dale Carnegie course that we took in July 2017. The course is about developing people skills, including influencing people in a positive manner. When I told Stephen about my podcast idea, he immediately encouraged me to do it.
It’s taken me over 5 months to record this interview. I was nervous to get this wrong. I didn’t want my first podcast crash and burn to waste Stephen’s valuable time.
How wrong I was. Stephen, I am eternally grateful for your time, energy, and friendship.
Stephen is known as The Uplifter. When you listen to the podcast below, you’ll immediately understand why.
Ten Things I’ve Learned from Stephen R. Moore
- When you first encounter someone, they’re either Emotionally Open or they’re Private.
If they’re Happy, Sad, Angry, Surprised, or Frustrated, they’re emotionally open. This gives us the opportunity to Build Rapport, and should be your first effort.
However, if they’re Private, they’re not open to building rapport at that time. Your best influence tactic is to stick to the task at hand.
- Also when you first encounter someone, you can notice their Assertiveness Level. Reading into their body language, the pace of their voice, and other clues, you can learn if they’re “microwave people” or “crockpot people.”
- Confidence comes from Preparedness. Spend the time, be prepared.
- Good managers reward group performance that reflects the values of an organization. Teams are better together. A leader’s job is to motivate the entire group, not just the high-performers.
- “I tried it… and I didn’t fail!” Giving people the skills and permission to try a new tactic can change their outlook on a situation. Give people homework to try new tactics, building upon existing knowledge.
- Making an emotional connection has huge business benefits. In Stephen’s industry (car sales), the industry standard for returning customers is 50% (including service, new purchases, etc). Stephen’s corporate clients have 65% or higher return rate. That seems like a good reason to hire Stephen for any industry!
- We all have self-talk that is either Positive, Neutral, or Negative. Negative self-talk can sabotage our success. Stephen taught me Larry Wilson’s tactic to Stop those thoughts, Challenge their validity, and Choose if they’re accurate or helpful. More in Larry Wilson’s book “Play to Win.”
- Personal change comes from reflection upon our actions and behavior, which happens in the prefrontal cortex of our brains. That reflection on how we feel can drive changes. For example, How do you feel when you arrive on time to an appointment? How do you feel when you turn your work in on time? How do you feel when you’re late?
- Stephen has taught me the importance of telling others your goals, because we don’t like to let people down. That is why I started this podcast, after all.
- Managers should work with their employees to perform better as a way to improve their job performance and satisfaction. Employees might be performing at Minimal Acceptable Performance, or at Par (average), or performing at Target levels. If this is framed well, lower-performing employees who want to excel will be thankful for the help rather than feeling resentful.
You can find Stephen R. Moore at Leadership3p.com or on his personal Instagram feed @stephen.r.moore.
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