Two Wrongs Make a Right

This morning my kids were arguing about Friday’s plans with Grandma.

The older sister was trying to tell the younger brother Friday’s plan, and he was arguing back with his understanding of the plan.

“No! On Friday you’re going…”


Thing is… neither was correct!

And that didn’t matter, because the plans are still up in the air anyways.

On the way to school I like to discuss ideas of self-improvement with my kids. Continue reading “Two Wrongs Make a Right”

Use This Easy Visual to Help Build Rapport

Here’s a shocker that you may have heard from me beforePeople want to help other people that they like!

"Friends :-)" by @BK, Flickr, CC-By-2.0
Do your friends make you feel good? “Friends :-)” by @BK, Flickr, CC-By-2.0

When people like you, they want to help you. They want to spend time with you. They want to do business with you.

So how do you get people to like you? How do you build that rapport? Continue reading “Use This Easy Visual to Help Build Rapport”

10 Things I Learned from “Win Bigly” by Scott Adams

Way back in 2012, my wife and I traveled by Amtrak train to Chicago to visit some friends. Between card games in the bar car and beautiful scenery out the window, I read a book about Negotiation.

I was interested in making more money. I wasn’t sure how to ask or even if I was in the right profession. Continue reading “10 Things I Learned from “Win Bigly” by Scott Adams”

10 Things I Learned from The Uplifter:
Stephen R. Moore from
(PRL’s First Podcast!)

Stephen R. Moore sat patiently across from me while I fidgeted with my mobile phone. I didn’t know how my first podcast was going to turn out. I was trying to keep my nerves under control, play it cool, and not waste his time.

Stephen is a leadership and sales coach, helping corporate clients in the car industry get better customer satisfaction and results. His cooperative, Leadership3P, pulls in over $600,000 every year.

His time is valuable, to say the least.

We were already off to a rough start. My plan to

Stephen R. Moore, the Uplifter
The Uplifter was an inspiring first podcast. I am eternally grateful!

meet in a quiet library didn’t work out due to a national holiday (A sincere thank you to all of our nation’s military veterans for your service).

I hadn’t made a backup plan. In my scramble to find a new location, I chose what must have been the loudest coffee shop in miles. Continue reading “10 Things I Learned from The Uplifter: Stephen R. Moore from (PRL’s First Podcast!)”

Building Rapport for Fun and Profit

Mirroring behaviour helps build rapport. Image "our bench days" by phlubdr, Flickr, CC-By-2.0
Mirroring behavior helps build rapport. Image “our bench days” by phlubdr, Flickr, CC-By-2.0

We choose help people that we like, people that make us happy.

We like people that are similar to ourselves. People that remind us of our best attributes.

Therefor, if we want to be persuasive, we must be likable.

As humans, we mirror one another’s behavior. We reciprocate emotions and we reciprocate favors.

To be persuasive, you Continue reading “Building Rapport for Fun and Profit”

Keep ’em at Arm’s Length

Imagine the last argument you had. You were convinced of your position. There’s no way the other person was right.

They thought the same about your argument, of course.

I’d be willing to bet at least one of you crossed your arms in front of yourself to block the very ideas being spoken.

Arms are one of our most expressive forms of communication. They’re used to build trust and rapport, as we’ll see. They’re used for defense. They’re used to communicate effectively at work.

Imagine the college professor, using her arms to focus our attention to different parts of her presentation. Lawyers use their arms to emphasize their points. Traffic cops use their arms to direct the flow around them.

We are naturally inclined to watch people’s arms — so much that illusionists and pickpockets take advantage of this to misdirect our attention.

In addition to emphasizing our speech, sudden changes in our arms also communicate our limbic reactions to our surroundings.

Image "Put your hands up in the air" by Thomas Leuthard, Flickr, CC-By-2.0
Image “Put your hands up in the air” by Thomas Leuthard, Flickr, CC-By-2.0

Continue reading “Keep ’em at Arm’s Length”

Those Big Ears Will Give You Confidence

In highschool we had to vote for a student government representative for our homeroom, the room we started and ended each school day. There were two candidates in our homeroom. One candidate was studious and seriously wanted the job — she had plans!

The second candidate was a goof who spent most of his school day talking with people. He was charismatic, but he didn’t have any plans for the school government if he was elected (but let’s be honest, those organizations don’t accomplish much anyways).

Who do you think won?

Everyone is drawn to a charismatic personality. Many of us believe charismatic people are born this way, and their leadership skills are an effortless result of their charisma.

The leader fights for the interests of her group. Photo "IMG_2810_1" by Allie, Flickr, CC-By-2.0
The leader is a member of her group. Photo “IMG_2810_1” by Allie, Flickr, CC-By-2.0

This is the story we tell ourselves. This story keeps us from looking at our own skillset to see where we fall short. But this story is not true.

You, too, can develop charisma and become an effective leader.

Charisma isn’t about being high-energy. It’s not about striking out in bold new directions or making perfect decisions. How can you develop charisma? Continue reading “Those Big Ears Will Give You Confidence”