oxytocin Archives » Goldmine Marketing

Last week we discussed Reactance.

Reactance is people’s natural resistance to your suggestions. People prefer the known, they don’t want to change the status quo. If you suggest a change…

“What makes you so smart!?”

As people of influence, how do we combat people’s natural resistance to being told what to do?

This past weekend I attended a kid’s birthday party with my 5 year old daughter.

The party is at a gymnastics gym in the suburbs. Short and sweet and cake and we’re outta there. The staff takes care of everything, pretty good setup with minimal fuss for the parents.

"Friends :-)" by @BK, Flickr, CC-By-2.0 — *“Friends :-)” by @BK, Flickr, CC-By-2.0*

Continue reading “4 Ways to Combat Reactance”

Imagine the last argument you had. You were convinced of your position. There’s no way the other person was right.

They thought the same about your argument, of course.

I’d be willing to bet at least one of you crossed your arms in front of yourself to block the very ideas being spoken.

Arms are one of our most expressive forms of communication. They’re used to build trust and rapport, as we’ll see. They’re used for defense. They’re used to communicate effectively at work.

Imagine the college professor, using her arms to focus our attention to different parts of her presentation. Lawyers use their arms to emphasize their points. Traffic cops use their arms to direct the flow around them.

We are naturally inclined to watch people’s arms — so much that illusionists and pickpockets take advantage of this to misdirect our attention.

In addition to emphasizing our speech, sudden changes in our arms also communicate our limbic reactions to our surroundings.

Image "Put your hands up in the air" by Thomas Leuthard, Flickr, CC-By-2.0 — Image “Put your hands up in the air” by Thomas Leuthard, Flickr, CC-By-2.0

Continue reading “Keep ’em at Arm’s Length”